1.26.2010

overwhelemed.

This is a good feeling of being overwhelmed though.
I am full of gratitude, peace, and humility to my Savior and Heavenly Father.
After much frustration and disappointment over the past few weeks, I have been offered a job!
I am now working as a receptionist in the BYU Pre Law and Pre Dental Office! I couldn't be more thrilled!

But over these past few weeks, I have learned a lot. It's been some tough love.
These past few weeks have been very challenging for me. I have cried many times, been kneeling to my Heavenly Father in prayer for hours, and have been patiently waiting for just one break through the clouds for a little sun to shine it's light on me. It's been a tough road, but with persistence, faith, and a positive attitude, things are starting to get better, starting to clear up for me; and I couldn't be more grateful.

I have learned so much. I have come to understand the concepts of faith and of patience as I have had to rely on these things hands on more than ever before. I have put my faith and trust in Heavenly Father. There is always a lesson to learn. You don't always get what you want, right when you want it or need it the most. Sometimes it takes time, it takes patience, and it takes faith knowing that Heavenly Father is there and is going to help you through whatever it is. You'll feel disappointed and down on yourself, but I have had faith knowing that Heavenly Father is always with me, especially during these hard times. He knows how I am feeling and knows what is best for me, and I think I needed to go through this to be a little more grateful and a little more humbled. I have learned a lot about me and who I need to be lately. I have tried to become a better person, the person I know I can be. I have started to do things that I know I should be doing on a regular basis- daily prayer, scripture study, and journal writing. I have also made it a goal to attend the temple weekly and to give some kind of service once a week. It's been quite the journey, but I can feel the sense of peace and I have filled that emptiness that I have had in my life lately. It's quite an overwhelming feeling. Something I really have never gone through before.

I now have tears of joy, tears of relief, and tears of humility. I am so grateful for my parents and for the example they have been for me; I know the past few weeks have been rough for them; but they were continually there for me, they were there praying for me, and they have loved me unconditionally through all my faults. I couldn't be more blessed with such great examples in my life. I am so grateful for my Heavenly Father. I know He has also been there every step of the way. He has felt my sorrow and my pain; I know He was only doing what He knew was best for me.

Sometimes lessons to be learned aren't always the easiest and aren't always what we want, but with faith and patience comes great rewards: Humility, gratitude, and peace.

So I feel very blessed. I love my Heavenly Father and thank Him for what He has taught me over the past few weeks. I know I have become a better person because of it.
And for that, I am grateful.

4 comments:

Angie Milne said...

i love you ash! i wish i were there to bring you some fro-yo :( i'm sorry things have been a little hard lately, but i'm glad to hear it's picking up! call me anytime! i miss you!

Kaycie Q said...

yaaay job! and i'm happy you're feelin better! love you!

The Calverts said...

Congratulations on your job! I know the last little while has been stressful, but what blessings have come through your experience. Patience is a recurring lesson in my life and I so can relate to not getting what you want when you want it. Thankfully, we have a Heavenly Father who knows us better than we know ourselves and gives us exactly what we need, when we need it.

The Ortons said...

First. CONGRATS ON THE JOB. I am looking for one too :(. And what a very nice testimony you wrote down.
P.S. You'll have to blog about sleeping in the TENT!!!!!! hahaha love ya